dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
