You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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