okay pat passed out under dana's car
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
