I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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