he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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