Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize