normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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