I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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