he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
