I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
