i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
