can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
