If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
