You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if only i could text you this smell
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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