I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
