I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
