I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
