i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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