And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
