sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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