have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
