Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
