why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
