No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
