forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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