and she was petting her beer can
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
