it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
