Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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