I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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