And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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