You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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