I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
