what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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