Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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