Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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