you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
