I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
