I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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