Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize