I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
