i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
