Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
