Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
