Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
