so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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