There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
