I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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