did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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