we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize