if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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