No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
