whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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