I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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