Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
