Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You have to summon your inner elephant
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Randomize
