he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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