i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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