He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
