Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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