i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
