dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
