make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
