They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
