I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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