at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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