Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
