Whod you bang
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
