You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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