If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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