She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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