Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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