On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
