He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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